"How
long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How
long will You hide Your face from me?
How
long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and
every day have sorrow in my heart?
How
long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look
on me and answer, O Lord my God
Give
light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.
My
enemy will say 'I have overcome him,'
and
my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But
I trust in Your Unfailing Love;
my
heart rejoice in Your salvation.
I
will sing to the LORD,
for
He has been good to me."
I don't know what David
did at the time to feel that God had forgotten him, but I know what it feels
like to feel like God is billions and billions of miles away sitting in heaven
where I can't feel his presence in my life.
My family lost three people to
death between the months of July 2011 and April 2012. First my grandfather grew weak and sick and
passed away in July last year. Then the
Sunday before Thanksgiving my Aunt P and Uncle J went to South Carolina to
visit their daughters, one daughter was expecting a baby.
Aunt P was showing the baby clothes
she had bought as Uncle J lay on the bed.
When my uncle reached over to pet the dog he fell off the bed. Because he had a big smile on his face my
aunt and cousin thought he was playing around but he doesn't get up. Something
had happened and he fell off the bed- dead.
They never got a pulse.
My aunt and her daughters held the
funeral in South Carolina. The night
after the funeral my beloved Grandmother had a stroke in the hotel. I helplessly watched her fall as she was
brushing her teeth. For a week the
doctors told us she was going to pass away but we decided to take a risk and take
her home. She lived for about four and
half months after the stroke but she was completely dependent on us since her
right side was paralyzed and could only speak a few words. In April she passed away too.
I never dreamed I would lose her,
she seemed so strong to me.
So I know what it's like to feel
that God has forgotten me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I
knew in my heart of hearts that God didn't leave. He stood there holding me, waiting
for me to seek Him again.
My Psalms to God
How
long, Lord will You stay away from me?
How
long will You not say a word?
How
long will I wrestle with my fears
and
every day hold sorrow in my heart?
How
long will this enemy beat at me?
Look
at me Lord, answer me! My Lord My God
Where
are you?
Bring
Your light back to my eyes or will I gaze forever into space?
Fear
will say "I have overcome her,"
and
it will rejoice as I lay broken and alone in my room.
But
I trust in Your unfailing love;
my
heart rejoice in Your salvation.
I
will sing to the LORD,
for
He has been good to me.
(Inspired
by Psalms 13 and the last four lines are quoted.)
Thank You Lord Jesus
Christ for Your unfailing Love and that You never leave us!
In Your Holy Name I
pray Amen!
May God bless you,
Annie Laurie
(Scripture taken from
the NIV Quest Study Bible, Revised 2004 Zondervan Pub.)
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